Dreading tomorrow

2nd group CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) therapy tomorrow morning. I have it every wednesday for 2 hours for the next 12 weeks. Woopee...

On thursday the woman who co runs it, claire, rang me to see what I though of the first session, and also because my PHQ9 scores were very low. And it mentioned a bit about self harm. She wanted to check if I was okay, asked a little bit about my self harm. And then she hit with me a bomb.

She asked if we could talk about self harm in the sessions.

And for what reason I dont know, I said yes! I am the world biggest fucking idiot.

So now Im totally dreading tomorrow incase she brings it up. Arrrghhhhh!

Oh and she also said once the sessions have finished, she'd like to do some 1 to 1 work with me to help sort out my self harm. Truth is, right now I dont really want to stop cutting.

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